Tough Times Never Last, Tough People Do

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Credit: Tumblr
Probably a picture of my trying to save myself from all the problems I had.

"Why I am alive?"

That's what stick inside my head for a few months back. I literally forgot the reason why I'm alive. Every morning I wake up, I just wished that I stop breathing. Because for me, new day is just a new pain. I need to fake smiles and act that everything was fine but actually I am not. It hurts me bad. I'm dying inside.

All I think that the world is always against me. Disappointments after disappointments and it finally put me real down till I think that myself is worthless. And everyone seems to not being helpful and I know that no one can really help me. They might listen to your problems and give you infinite advice but they cannot change things that you like to believe. Indeed, myself is the real saviour of me. 

It started when there's one time that I feel so tired of feeling low and I think that I need to get out of this mess as soon as I can. I cannot be like this forever; of being sad and hopeless.

I need to rebuild my spirit again. To learn how to be myself back or maybe be a better me than what I used to be. And how can I do that is by changing my mind; to not think about things that upsetting me anymore. Things will not change and I will be getting worse if I keep on thinking all the bad stuffs. 

Because in life, we need to know that there is some things that we can control and some that is out of our control. Things will happen but life is just a stack of phases. Each phase will eventually end and you'll need to enjoy while you're in it.

We know that human, by nature, have feelings. It's okay to be sad sometimes but it is not okay if you want to stay bitter. I tell myself that I need something that can boost my positivity and looking back throughout this year, I did not do well in my academics. There is sudden decline as I could picture it. I know I should have done better if only I don't haunt myself with those temporary bad feelings.

So, I need to keep reminding myself that I am more than this. The problem that I am facing now is just a bit of what I have been through throughout my life. I went through a lot of worst things before and this is not enough to put me down. I am mentally stronger than what I thought. 

And to see from third perspective, someone out there is suffering a lot more than me. Someone loses their family member, someone is being told by doctor that they have a few months to live as their cancer is spreading to stage 4. It's beyond comparison. This makes me think that why I should grieve on something that did not turned up to be what I thought it would be, while there's someone out there counting their remaining days to live.

But today, I am feeling well than I did before. I would say that I am fully recovered from my previous condition. And I wish I could stay as I am today for as long as I can. 

Somehow, I felt grateful for all the problems that got into my life. Eventhough, I might keep on asking that 'why me?' question every time I face hard time but it's implicitly bring me to a better thinking. It's get me wiser and let me to learn of getting a better control of my emotion and myself. These problems is directing me to be a better version of me; stronger.

One thing that I should always know is that tough times never last, tough people do.

And guys I bet the next three weeks will becoming the most hectic time in my current semester because I'll be having my final exam. And what worst than that is I will not be getting a study week plus there's one day of the exam schedule that I'll be having two papers in one day (first time ever in me degree life). I know it will be so stressful but I think I will enjoy it (I hope so). So you guys please pray for me, so that everything will be eased. 

Thank you.

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